


One Plus One Equals Three

by vanillafluffy



Category: The Martian (2015), The Martian - All Media Types, The Martian - Andy Weir
Genre: F/M, One Plus One Equals Three, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-07-23 15:57:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7469841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanillafluffy/pseuds/vanillafluffy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After returning to Earth, Beth Johanssen's test results show something unexpected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The first batch of lab tests on the Ares III crew is in. Jordan skims through them, with help from their flight surgeon, Dr. Beck. Though he's moving slowly, still getting used to full gravity again, there's nothing wrong with his mind. Beck just seems happy to have a fresh face to talk to, even if they are discussing standard things like creatinine readings and platelet counts. 

Not surprising, Jordan supposes, considering the mission ended up being twice as long as originally planned. He can't imagine being stuck in a 100-foot long cylinder for more than two years with the same five people. Of course, Watney had been on Mars for much of the time, but still, that's more togetherness than Jordan could handle. 

"That can't be right," he mutters, looking at one of Johansson's panels. 

"What?" Beck materializes next to him and plucks the printout from his hand. His dark eyebrows are drawn together in concern as he scans the printout. 

Jordan doesn't say anything. Beck's a bright guy, he'll spot it. There's a rise in a cluster of hormones that usually indicates pregnancy. False positives aren't unheard of; he supposes they'll have to retest--because of course, she couldn't have gotten knocked up during a mission. Astronauts don't do that sort of thing on the job--it would be unprecedented. 

There's a sharp intake of breath. The paper rattles...Beck's hand is shaking. 

"We can retest," Jordan says. "It's got to be a glitch."

Beck shakes his head like he thinks it may fall off if he's too emphatic. "No need."

"But we need accurate data--"

"It doesn't affect the mission results at all, does it?" Jordan shakes his head. "It isn't life-threatening " Again, he shakes his head. "And she can't be more than three weeks along, so there's a certain margin of plausible deniability, wouldn't you say?" Jordan starts to shake his head again, realizes the answer is 'yes', and nods. Then his scientific training kicks in. 

"Wait a minute." He catches Beck's wrist and looks at the numbers again. "How do you get three weeks?"

"Because that's how long ago we ran out of condoms."

Jordan blinks. Beck is eyeing him, probably waiting to see how he's going to react. "Condoms?" he repeats. "Since when?"

Beck grins. He looks awfully happy all of a sudden. "Standard equipment," he says. "After all, expecting a guy to go a couple years without relief is not too realistic. On the other hand, no pun intended, the filters have enough to do without coping with biological discharges. So...condoms."

Jordan nods. There's also the corollary, that apparently there was at least one unauthorized biological discharge on the part of the man standing next to him, and that it had occurred during the fertile part of Johansson's cycle. 

"It's really not relevant," he agrees. 

After all, Beck and Johanssen are both single; unless she reports her partner for harassment, it's none of NASA's concern, since it didn't impact the mission. He doesn't blame the guy; Beth Johanssen is cute, and clearly getting along hadn't been an issue. 

"Print out another copy," Beck says abruptly. "I've got to tell Beth."

There's nothing slow about the way he's moving as he practically teleports out of the lab. 

Jordan shrugs, and requests a second copy. 

...


	2. Gravid-y

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beck breaks the news.

Being back on Earth is wonderful. The nearly three years aboard _Hermes_ was a terrific adventure, but there are so many creature comforts she's missed that Beth Johanssen can hardly decide which ones to sample first. At the moment, she has her hair wrapped in a towel after a long hot shower--with unrationed water and her favorite lemongrass shampoo. She's nibbling at a plate of fresh pears and real cheese as she binge-watches a new-to-her mystery series. 

Pampering! Heavenly! Wifi! Bliss! Fresh food! Yay! She's isn't on the schedule for any testing today--NASA is putting poor Mark under a microscope after his prolonged exposure to Martian radiation, so she's taking advantage of the leisure to engage in slothful hedonism. If Chris hadn't volunteered to help collate test results, she can think of other things to engage in. Doing it in gravity would be a novel experience for them. 

As if thinking of him was enough to summon him, Chris is standing in the doorway connecting their rooms. He's clutching a fistful of papers and looking at her with the oddest grin on his face. 

Maybe he's thinking along similar lines? She pauses the show and smiles at him with what she fondly imagines is a sultry look. "You're through early," she greets him. "Come on in." She pats the bed beside her, belatedly aware of the towel on her head, a less than glamorous position to be in. 

"I love you," he says, grin widening even more. 

"That's good. I love you, too...I hope we're not bugged."

Chris laughs, a real belly laugh. He's loosened up a lot. Five years ago, when the first began training for the Ares III mission, Beth was intimidated by "Dr. Serious", as she'd privately dubbed him. Now, he's part of her life. Hearing him affirm that makes her stomach flutter--although it's been doing that a lot lately. Readjustment to gravity, she guesses. 

Watching him move in gravity is a treat. He's even more graceful than in low-g, a real natural athlete...she's so lucky; that type of guy never used to go for her, the nerd. Chris sits down on the bed and starts kissing her, peppering her with kisses, not his usual self-possessed demeanor at all, but a wild excitement radiating from him. 

"What? What?" she asks, laughing. "What's all that?"

He brandishes the printout. He's working up to saying something, so overwhelmed he's having trouble getting it out. After a moment, he leans forward and whispers in her ear. "You're pregnant."

Beth Johanssen absorbs the news calmly. She's a realist: her implant expired quite a while ago, and exhausting their supply of condoms a few weeks ago hadn't curbed their libido in the slightest. Chris's obvious delight at the news steadies her. 

"That's wonderful!" Something more is called for, but Beth has always been a little shy about displaying strong feelings. Instead, she finds a safe question. "Can you tell what it is yet?"

Chris bites his lip, looking sheepish. "I was so excited I didn't even think to look at the markers," he confesses. He flips through the sheets of printout. "Let's see...yeah...wow."

"Wow what?" she demands. 

"Sometimes, early on in a pregnancy, the markers aren't clear," he explains. "That's not the case here, see--" He points at something. 

"Never mind the numbers--what is it?"

He hugs her. "We're having a girl. Oh my god, you've got me wrapped around your little finger--a little girl? I'm doomed." The prospect seems to please him enormously. He nuzzles her, dislodging the towel. 

"I'm such a mess," Beth says reaching for her comb. 

"You're amazing," Chris counters, taking it from her and very gently working it through her hair. "And you smell really nice."

She relaxes into his embrace. "You're really nice," she murmurs. "You're going to be a great daddy. I wonder what she'll be like?"

"I hope she looks just like her mother."

"It would be nice if she had your dimples."

"It would be better if she had my SAT scores. Oh god, we need to start funding her education. I wonder if I can get her into Yale as a legacy?" 

If their daughter has his magnificent blue eyes, Beth thinks, she'll be a heart-breaker. "No reason she can't have beauty and brains." 

Beth imagines their offspring, a graceful sprite dividing her time between gymnastics and advanced calculus. "I wonder how early I can start teaching her code?"

"Great!" Chris rolls his eyes. "My daughter the hacker."

"Like mother, like daughter " Beth says with satisfaction. Her stomach growls, and she reaches for her neglected snack. "I guess it's good that I didn't go for chocolate cake, huh? No wonder I've been a little queasy since we got back."

In response, he kisses the side of her neck. "Anything you want, babe." He's still joyfully dazed. 

Anything on Earth? she wonders, smiling at her whimsy, because sitting here in quiet intimacy, just the three of them, is definitely the most wonderful thing on Earth. 

...


End file.
